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If you let me I could, I'd show you how to build your fences
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Saturday, January 17, 2009, 12:11 AM
I'm back. for awhile.
hey..it's been a real long time since i've updated...sorry about it.So..well i wasn't feeling so well when i posted mylast post....honestly still not...i mean after awhile i was but then it all just came crashing down again..and the stupid thing is..it's the same reason as it was last time. It bugs me seriously.. I wanted to do a happy post but awh well i can't at the moment(or for the past few weeks).... Gosh..i don't know what to say....it's just so strange how you can still love someone even though you don't talk anymore,the way he/she treated you...seriously...i mean like you're here all sad,depressed(i know it sounds real sad doesn't it?)missing the person soo much and asking yourself why the hell do you still love that person...while he/she over there is going on with his/her life not caring at all.. and ok yeaa that's my story right now...and the other part.. He said he hate's waiting..haha what?he was the one that kept saying he loved me and all that but ya know...If you loved someone so much as he said he did...he would have been able to wait for a short while...but ya know what he didn't he just said he 'hates' waiting...and it was just supposed to be for a little while...when i said it he said he'd try..but you know what?he didn't he went out with other girls...and honestly it hurt like..like emmm..*thinks*...'i don't wanna use a knife been stabbed in the heart' one cos that is one way of saying it that's been used alot..so ermmm..feels like nevermind...in short IT HURT LIKE HELLLLLLLLL~....then i still waited awh yes i did...i acted cool about everything.but yes i would text him every now and then saying i missed him and yeaa...then suddenly it just hit me i couldn't take it anymore..it was too much..i broke down...and then yeaaa...i won't tell you every little detail of everything though.....then i chatted with him one night right and like he mentioned about his mum saying i'm tooooo social?WHAT THE HELLLLLL? excuse me but i'm no way near 'tooooo social' i hang out with the same people...and for gods sake the mum saw me 2 times..first time was when i was with my cousin ina and 3 other frends 2nd time when i went to his place to get my jacket..and then i'm judged straight away 'tooo social' ....and you knwo what he didn't even bother standing up for me...before all this we talked and all he said he too still loved me blablabla but there was something that was keeping us from not being together again(wtf?)...crap my anger is now speaking LOL....ok back to the social thing...so then i told my mum about it right cos same time i was chatting with him same time i was with her...and my mum was FUUUUURIIIIIIOOOOUS...damn furious... Then...yeaa then the other day he blocked me right and i was like 'wtf?' i then texted him saying i knew he blocked me..then for some reason i then saw him online????....i've not spoken to him in a long time and i am seriously missing him like crazy....ruby,reen,yul,others..they tell me to go text him but i just can't i don't know why...Gosh thinking of him continuously is just too much...Ruby told me she spoke to him the other day..i asked what did she say..she said she mentioned about me...and then yeaa...god!!..and i don't know why but before this like days before the 'stupid social' incident...i asked him 3,4 times how he felt...and you know what,he jsut kept avoiding the question he never replied he would sometimes say something else.... This is too much...and now he hangs out with this 'DUDE' who dislikes me..god knows what he said about me...he once called me a 'CHINESE WANNABE' ...lol....just cos i had a name on friendster 'kiyomi hamasaki' duhhhH~ my ex 'ALIF" gave me that name it was for one of his edittings...no wait more than one editting..that's why i used the name~....i thought it was stupid..so we wee out that year he called me that ...and i went up to him and said 'excuse me i just thought u should know,im not a chinese wannabe and it's a japanese name not a chinese name *smile like i dont care*'.............yes i said that...so god knows what he said to 'HIM' about me....(if he said anything that is)...Ruby said the same thing...like maybe 'he' said something to him(the one i love~) that made him go 'urgh i dont like her anymore.....God~.......... well i better end it here...........so....you wanna know who's the guy i seriously love....look in my old posts..photos...who do you see?figure it out yourself. i hate myself for loving you..........-_-'' OUT!! ps: if i've made any grammer mistakes,spelling mistakes or what so ever,it's because i'm too lazy to recheck.. |
ohits justwho i am[=
oh my it's Lola~. |
partnersincrime
wafiy akif syaa fakree kokzid yuyul nisa zira Alyf[dreamz] backtoyesterday
+ hey..i'm just updating to say that i will update s... + GET FUCKED,BE FORGOTTEN.what a good line i came up... + hello~it's 5.33am....got back jln kinda late tdi h... + hello~ =D well i am back...updating...so...i have ... + Hello...well i am once again updating..but before ... + morning~...it's 9.51am i'm udpating..i don't know ... + updatessss + well i went out with ig wafiq,zaem,faiz,ina and a... + I'm back with a new layout a new song,yes..soo...h... + here i am blogging..no not updating the things i s... wheni'mgone
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